


If I'm Louder Would You See Me?

by orphan_account



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alpha Harry, Alpha Liam Payne, Alpha Zayn, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multi, Omega Louis, Omega Niall, Omega Verse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-31
Updated: 2018-03-05
Packaged: 2019-01-27 01:15:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12570424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Louis is left out of a lot of things: He doesn't get days off, or cuddles when he's sad. He's a beta (kind of), and he has to take responsibility. Management makes sure of that. Still, as the day of his band mates' wedding approaches Louis can feel himself slipping with no one there to catch him. He just has to stay strong, but for how much longer?





	1. Pilot

“So, Louis, how do you feel about your bandmates’ engagement?” the interviewer asked.

If Louis were to be honest, he would say that he doesn’t think about it. He tries to put the fact that the three alphas and one omega were getting married, and he would have nothing to do with it besides standing to the side as a best man. He avoided thinking about their fairy tale ending with a sunset and rainbows. He thought that this was just another thing in his life he was going to get used to not having. It was odd, the very people who had been his back bone before were now crushing him in the weight of their happiness. But he was happy for them. They deserved it. If anyone deserved it, they did. I wish I could deserve happiness. 

Quickly, Louis mentally shook himself and answered the robust lady. “I’m ecstatic.” He smiled at his boys warmly before looking back at the interviewer. “Packs are a special thing, and to see one happening to my best mates is crazy.” Pulling out the mischievous card, to make it truly believable, he smirked. “I remember when they were still dancing around each other like nervous school boys.”

From there the interview went smoothly, with no more questions directed at Louis, he was able to gather his restraint and emotions. He focused on his breathing and smiling: Just another day in paradise. He didn’t break until he got to his hotel room. Feigning a headache, he dodged Niall’s invitation for a cuddle and a movie. The idea of having to sit through any alpha pheromones was too much, because the lads always got into it after a long day. Louis didn’t need that kind of torture, he was, admittedly, a slight masochist, not suicidal. Pulling Harry’s hoodie, Liam’s hat, Niall’s shirt, and Zayn’s jacket out of the bottom of his bag, Louis threw himself onto the hotel bed and cried into his makeshift nest. Too exhausted to really work himself up, the fake-beta just silently let hot tears trace his cheeks and color Harry’s dark blue hoodie. It would be okay, probably. Just a couple more months until their break, and he would just have to get through the wedding. After that he could go to Mexico or something. No one would notice, anyway. Maybe he could buy an island and just live on it forever. Never return to the real world.

The real world came knocking just as he had fallen asleep. Stumbling out of the plush mattress, Louis clumsily kicked the evidence of his weakness under the bed and opened the door. Vivian marched into the suite with a purpose and an arm full of clothes. 

“The interview was passable, but do try harder next time. We don’t want a slip up. In any case, there’s a car waiting for you, you’re going to El Diablo.” Flicking her dark hair back, the manager didn’t even glance his way. Throwing the clothes on the bed, she was about to elaborate on what she wanted him to do, but paused. When he looked down Louis knew why. The sleeve of Harry’s hoodie was peeking out from under the bed. Vivian daintily picked it up with her manicured hands. Turning, she looked Louis in the eyes for the first time since the Beach Incident. 

“What’s this?”

“Nothing,” Louis squeaked, avoiding her piercing gaze.

Her blood red lips curled like burning paper. “Are these tear marks?” Grabbing his face none too gently, she examined him like he was a piece of meat, or a stain on her brand new carpet. “You’ve been crying. Looks like I’ll need to talk to Ryan about reconditioning.” She was already typing away on her phone before Louis could protest, not that it would do any good. Maybe he did need to be reconditioned, he was getting too emotional. With her sixth sense, Vivian grabbed the other garments hiding under the bed. “Be down in ten minutes. You know the consequences.” With that, she walked out with the only things that let Louis sleep at night.

Although Louis was convinced that he could maybe get to sleep if he just laid back down, he knew all too well what would happen if he did so. In the music industry the phrase ‘words will never hurt me’ were a load of bull. A couple of words could end careers, tarnish reputations. No, his boys deserved better than that. They were going to have something better than that. Far better. They were going to get married, and be happy, and-. Taking a deep breath, he pulled in his emotions. They made him weak, he needed to be strong. Changing into the clothes left for him, Louis put on his mask.

His mask was the same as always, but even so he could feel the paint chipping.


	2. Here We Go Again

The club El Diablo was no different from any other club Louis had been in. There was a mass of people congregating at the dance floor, and loud music played, drowning out anything besides the bass. The lights flashed and swirled around the room like a tornado of color. Louis pretended to drink his gin and tonic before dumping it into the same potted plant he’d been using all night. Acting drunk was easy if you had a killer migraine, and you were trying to act beta, but failing. Luckily, his failed attempts of the in-between second gender were passed off as drunken behavior. 

“Hey,” a girl yelled, trying to be heard over the pounding music.

Louis could hardly focus with the pounding in his head, let alone the bass.

“You wanna have some fun with me? I’m always up for a good time.” She smiled prettily, and fluttered her eyelashes.

Having some ‘fun’ with a stranger would be nice, if it didn’t risk exposing him to the world that he was omega. It kind of put a damper on his sex life, not that Louis had ever had one. Presenting at nineteen and being caught by management killed any sexual fantasies he had. No, it was safer to just never go there. Louis decided he had done his quota for the night, and stumbled away from the girl. He’d already been at the club for three hours. That has to be enough. Even so, he knew that for Vivian, it would never be adequate.

###

“Louis, we need to talk.” Liam stood tall in front of where Louis had been trying to write a song. He was told to have it be full of energy with a catchy chorus. Lous had yet to put pen to paper.

“Yeah?” he sat up. Betas were respectable, and as such, they never slouched at the present of an alpha. Liam sat down on the other side of the table, and leaned forward. The beta (omega) tensed, and resisted leaning back to gain more space, or even worse, leaning forward to scent Liam. A sudden want constricted around Louis’ ribs: to bury his nose into Liam’s neck and let the warm scent coat his mind like liquid sugar, to confess everything and have it be okay. Is that why Liam was wanting to talk to him? Did he notice how Louis was having trouble sleeping, or that his appetite was practically non existent? Was someone actually worried about him? Was he going to tell him it would be okay, and let Louis cry it out in his arms? It wouldn’t be so hard, would it? Just to let it all out. The boys cared about him, no matter his gender. Maybe he could confess that-

“Louis, did you hear a word of what I just said?” Liam growled.

The normally soft, brown eyes were hard with annoyance. “What?” Louis had missed something. 

“This.” Liam motioned to Louis in aggressive exasperation. “This is what I came here to talk to you about. You’ve been acting crazy these past few weeks. Going out and getting drunk, getting papped with different girls in every city. At first I thought ‘well, maybe this is just a stress reliever. A one time thing.’ Do you know how long it’s been since I first thought that?”

Louis didn’t answer.

“Three months, Louis. For three months you’ve been acting like a dick, and neglecting the image of this band.”

So that’s what this was. This talk wasn’t about whether or not Louis was okay, it was about his actions. No, not his actions. He was just a puppet on electric strings, shocked into submission whenever he tried to break free. The one person Louis had thought would see all of this for what it was, was the one condemning him for it all. Louis didn’t want to go out. He never wanted to go out. What Louis wanted is so much further out of reach than a club, or a bar. Why was Liam so blind? Wasn’t he alpha? Alphas were supposed to know when an omega is in distress. Hot acid boiled from Louis’ finger tips to his toes. He clenched his fists, and glared.

“Me?” Louis snarled. “I’m neglecting the image of this band? You nearly fucked us all over just by playing ‘happy pack life’.”

Liam rolled his eyes. “This isn’t about my pack, it’s about you. You wouldn’t even understand, you’re a-”

“A beta. I fucking know! I wake up beta everyday. I act beta everyday. Oh, but now because I’m beta I don’t get it. Apparently I’m too stupid to understand the basic functions of a pack.”

“You don’t get it, Louis. You’ll never fucking get it. You’re only a beta.” 

At some point they had both stood up, and were facing off. Louis’ fire hand burned out at Liam’s words. Only a beta. A beta only. Not omega, not submissive, not Louis. Beta.

Liam took a deep breath. “Now until you get your shit together, you’re on the crew bus. You’re volatile, and I don’t want you upsetting Niall.” Then, as if he hadn’t just torn up any hope Louis had of being a regular omega, Liam stalked away. 

Louis watched him go, feeling numb. Looking down at the blank, white paper, he realized that all of this was so much more difficult than he could have ever imagined. He still had a song to write, but Louis knew he had to do something else. Vivian was right. No one would ever accept him as an omega, if they can’t even tolerate him as a beta. The band was all he had, all he was. He needed to get better, to be better. Picking up his phone, Louis called Vivian.

“I need to see Ryan,” he told her. If he couldn’t give himself as an omega, then he could give himself as a human. Reconditioning would be less painful, in the long run. Liam had just proved that to him.

In the end, Louis had to wait until after the show tonight to see Ryan and get his head sorted out once and for all. In the meantime, his emotions weighed heavily on his mind as they went through rehearsals. Liam didn’t even look his way throughout it. Louis refrained from speaking, when he noticed that everytime he did Liam’s jaw clenched in annoyance. During break, the alpha would intentionally find a space as far away from Louis as possible. When the boys were having a laugh, huddled around Harry’s phone, Liam bumped him out of the way so he could wrestle with Zayn. By the time lunch came around, Louis had lost any sort of appetite he may have built up from running through their sets. He picked at his sandwich, anyway, so it would be less obvious he wasn’t eating. 

“Hey, what’s up with you and Liam?” Niall asked, plopping down next to Louis, and his mess of a plate. He was still sweaty from practicing, but he seemed refreshed and awake, a complete difference from Louis’ tired demeanor.

The beta tried to play it off. “What do you mean?”

“Well,” Niall stole a piece of his sandwich. “He’s been a complete prick to you ever since this morning. Not to mention, you keep looking at him like an omega that’s been scolded.”

“Not an omega,” Louis snapped, sounding more angry than he’d meant to.

“But you’re acting like one,” Niall pointed out again.

“I’m a beta.”

Rolling his eyes, Niall sighed. “I know that. I just want to know why you and Liam are fighting.”

Louis looked away and shrugged half heartedly. By the end of the night it won’t make a difference because Louis would be better; not so omegan and emotional. “Doesn’t matter,” he mumbled. He picked up a stray piece of cheese, if only to have an excuse to not look at Niall.

“Hey,” Niall touched his shoulder, hand gentle and warm. Louis covered up his shiver by shifting in his seat. “If it’s bothering you then it does matter.”

“I-”

“Niall, did you put glue in my shoes again?” Zayn roared from across the stadium.

“Oh, fuck. I was hoping I had another twenty minutes or so.” Niall stood up quickly, and darted away to escape his alpha’s wrath. “Wish me luck, Lou!” He watched Niall run off, words dying on his tongue as the Irishman disappeared backstage.

The performance onstage wasn’t much better than the rehearsal. It was like Louis didn’t even exist. He even tried spraying water on the alpha. There wasn’t any particular reason as to why Louis had drenched Liam’s white shirt, but he was hyped and strung so tight he felt like he was about to snap. Liam hadn’t even acknowledged his wet shirt, just moved away as if the beta was a cold breeze he didn’t want to endure. Louis’ smile had dimmed after that. The crowd which used to be white noise became overwhelming suffocation beating into his ear drums. He messed up the timing on his solo. He stopped smiling halfway through the show. Liam didn’t look at him. He nearly fell off the stage. He almost caught on fire from standing too close to the pyrotechnics. Liam didn’t look at him. Louis was ushered out of the stadium and away from the boys by management. He didn’t bother to check if Liam had noticed.

#####

Ryan was a middle aged beta with graying hair and a PhD in Psychiatry. He wore button up shirts and ties as dull as his hair color. Louis didn’t bother learning if Ryan was his first or last name.

“Any symptoms of the disease coming back?” Ryan asked, holding a notepad and a pen as he leaned back in his chair. ‘The disease’ is what they used to refer to the omega side of Louis.

“I’ve been getting more emotional.”

“Any particular reason?”

“Liam got angry with me,” Louis trailed off, and thumbed the shock collar locked around his neck. “Made me feel bad.”

Ryan hummed, and wrote something down. “I’ve also heard that you were scenting clothes? Is that right?”

Even though Louis had requested the reconditioning, it never lost the underlying feeling of pulling teeth and being ripped open. Although, that was probably why it worked so well. 

“The last time we went through this procedure we were as gentle as we could be. Considering you’ve had a relapse, we will have to up the intensity to prolong the effects.” Getting up, and rounding the desk, Ryan started to secure Louis’ arms to the metal chair. “This will be uncomfortable. “ An understatement. “But you’re doing so good, Louis, protecting your band like this.” The restraints were too tight, but Ryan didn’t bother checking before moving to clamp Louis’ legs down as well. “I know it’s been so hard for you, hasn’t it?”

Louis nodded, wiggling a bit before settling.

“Not many can do what you do, Louis. You’re stronger than this disease. You want to be cured, right?” Ryan stood up, and retrieved the shock collar remote control.

Swallowing, the beta (disease) nodded again. Louis watched, throat closing up as Ryan pulled out the ‘disease disinfectant’, which was always sprayed on him before these sessions began in full. The spray made Louis’ throat itch excessively and brought on heavy migraines that often forced him to close his eyes to block out the jarring, white, examining room lights. He was sprayed, and already Louis could feel the affects. 

“Good. Accepting there’s a problem is the first step to fixing it. We shall begin now.” 

And with the click of a button, the automated mantra started blasting with intervals of cutting electricity burning down Louis spine. Out of instinct, Louis jerked against the chair, bruising his wrists as the itch in his throat rose up. 

“Remember, Louis, we stop when you do. Let go and it will be over quicker.”

Louis screamed, throat quaking and fracturing over the sound.

“I know it’s hard, but this disease must be purged out of you.” Another bolt of lightning went through his heart. “Unfortunately, you still have a long way to go. Nobody wants a defect.” 

Louis choked in just enough air before his scream resonated through the white, sterile room. Ryan sat back and put on sound cancelling headphones.


	3. When Push Comes to Shove

Having turned around the moment Louis walked in Niall was the first one to greet him. “Louis!” Niall called out around the food in his mouth. “Where were-” the omega stopped as he registered Louis’ appearance. 

The beta didn’t seem to notice his band mate’s verbal fumble. Louis sat down next to Niall. He pulled a paper plate off the stack in the middle of the table. Food went onto the platter without thought. Niall watched, thickly swallowing down his mouthful as Louis ate a sandwich made of potato chips, mustard, and a half eaten chocolate bar. Louis chewed without a single wince, or minor cringe, as he consumed the clashing ingredients. Slowly, Niall picked up his own sandwich, and took a bite, watching Louis the whole time. The boy looked exhausted. Deep shadows framed the bottom of his eyes, and what seemed to be a rash was spread all over his neck in a seething, bumpy red. Niall was trying to find a subtle (not his forte) method of asking Louis what the hell was wrong with him when one of his alphas interrupted Niall’s problem solving process.

“Niall,” Harry said, bumbling over. 

The omega quietly watched Harry’s eyes slide from him to Louis. The alpha blinked, before turning his body more towards the beta, as if focusing in on him. Frowning with a crease between his brow, Harry approached at a slower pace. He sat down quietly in front of Louis and Niall. Mustard dripped sloppily from Louis’ sandwich. The smell of it was rolling and pungent in the air. Harry flinched as Louis crunched into the mess between two slices of bread.

“Um.” Trying to articulate his confusion wasn’t easy, it seemed. Rubbing the back of his head, Harry asked, “So, Louis, that’s an, uh, interesting choice of lunch.”

Louis looked up, blue eyes distant. “I’m a beta,” he stated, before looking down and taking another bite. His voice was sharp like barbed wire, but not with emotion. It was raw and bumpy, clearly overused. If it hurt, Louis didn’t show it

“No, I know. I shouldn’t be asking because you’re a beta, but…” Harry was at a loss of how to continue. Louis didn’t acknowledge him, he kept eating at a bored, sedate pace. 

Shaking his head, Harry turned to Niall. “Liam wanted to go over those song lyrics with you. He told me to remind you. He’s doing a couple phone interviews with Zayn, and we have an hour before the photo shoot.”

“Alright.” Niall hesitated on leaving. Something was clearly up with Louis. Not for the first time, either.

He had gotten like this a couple times before, but not to the point of subjecting himself to a mustard, potato chip, and chocolate bar sandwich. Louis didn’t even like mustard. Certainly not with chocolate, anyway. Still, all the other times before, Louis had somehow found a way out of the thick of it. He could do it again. Betas tended to feel suffocated if too many people took an interest in their well being. It was an insult for someone to try to help the second gender if they believed they were fine on their own. Louis was no exception. One time Niall had gone digging through his carry-on bag, the one Louis nearly always had with him, to get him a shirt after Zayn spilled coffee on him. When Louis found Niall invading his space, he snapped at him before yanking his bag out of his hands and storming off. Niall, having just presented as an omega, still had fresh hormones buzzing around his body, so he cried. Louis got in trouble with the alphas for it all. Niall wasn’t crying because he was sad, or hurt. Okay, maybe a little hurt. But it was the shock of having Louis react so intensely that brought the tears to his eyes. In any case, Niall left his bag alone from then on.

Ignorant of Niall’s musings, Louis kept eating his sandwich. Niall felt bad leaving him. There wasn’t anything he could do, Louis was a beta. Cuddles didn’t solve ninety percent of his problems. Niall followed after Harry as he led the way to the other alphas. The beta didn’t even glance at them as they left the table.

After just hanging up the phone from the last interview, Zayn got an armful of omega. Luckily the arm chair he was sitting on was sturdy, and didn’t immediately topple over from the force of the omega’s love tackle. “Hey, Ni.” The alpha rubbed his back and scented Niall’s neck.

“Oh, so Zayn gets a hug, but I don’t?” Liam teased from the couch across from the alpha-omega pair. Harry took a seat next Liam, shooting him a meaningful glance. The head alpha nodded, showing he understood, as he continued the conversation. “I thought you loved me.”

“The only thing I love is a good cuddle,” Niall murmured, face pressed into Zayn’s warm chest. He basked in the soothing back rub, and nuzzled closer.

Zayn snorted. “So we’re just means to an end?”

The only response he got was a blissed out hum of acknowledgment. Niall was relaxed and cozy, eyes drooping in a clear signal that he was getting ready to nap on his victim of an alpha.

“We can go over song lyrics later,” Liam said. “Go ahead and take him for a nap, Z. We’ll catch you up later.”

Zayn knew Liam well enough to realize that was code for ‘remove omega from hearing distance, we will inform you of what we talk about, later’. He picked up the blond omega, and carried him off to find a comfortable place to rest for an hour.

Once the alpha and omega were out of sight, Liam turned to Harry. “So, did you find him?”

“Yeah, he was sitting with Niall, but...”

Harry trailing off wasn’t a bad sign, necessarily. He spoke slowly, a kind of methodical manner of sorts. His voice was a low, casual thrum. Like a lazy walk in the park, it took its time, but eventually he would get to where he was going. Liam didn’t always like waiting for Harry’s stroll to pick up the pace.

“What?”

Harry looked to the side. Liam had a heart of gold, but right now he was angry with Louis, so Harry was unsure how he was going to take the news. “He looked exhausted, and he was eating a gross sandwich.”

This was the problem with Harry. Liam didn’t need to hear about Louis’ food choices. “The sandwich is important because?”

“Well,” Harry shrugged. “There seemed to be a lot of mustard, and a chocolate bar in it.”

The head alpha blinked. “How did you know there was a chocolate bar in it?”

“I was eating one, but then left it on the table. I came back to get Niall, but it was gone.” Wincing, Harry said, “Liam, he put it in his sandwich. With mustard.”

Shaking his head, the brown eyed alpha ran his hand through his hair. Louis eating an off sandwich didn’t translate to extreme emotional burden. If it did, then Niall would be in a psychiatry ward with some of the cravings he got. Cravings were more common in omegas than betas, and nonexistant in alphas. Still, the beta had done far stranger things, after all. Like when he went on a kale only diet. Louis didn’t even like kale. When asked he just replied that was what he felt like doing. Unpredictable at the best of times, there was no sense in trying to read into each of Louis’ actions.

“So?” Liam prodded

“That’s not the worst of it.”

Liam huffed a laugh. “Honestly, Hazza, a weird sandwich isn’t that bad.”

“No, it’s not. It’s- he just. He was different. Like, he didn’t seem-”

“Happy?” the other alpha guessed. It would make sense, he had kicked Louis off the main bus.

“No. Well, yeah, he wasn’t happy. He was… He was nothing. He just sat there and ate his mustard and chocolate bar sandwich.”

Liam smirked, trying to redirect the conversation. “A mustard and chocolate bar sandwich.”

Glaring, Harry stood up to walk away. If Liam was going to pass this off as nothing, Harry wasn’t going to bother talking about it with him. “You’re not taking this seriously.”

Liam stood up as well. “Harry, what is there to take seriously? Louis is a beta, he doesn’t need us to intervene.”

“Oh, really? Is that why you kicked him off our bus?” 

“That was for Niall,” Liam defended, straightening up his posture.

“Niall loves Louis, why would you do that? You know how close they are.”

“Louis has been going out clubbing every other night for the past three months. Am I the only one who’s noticed? This didn’t used to happen, and he’s starting to go crazy on the tabloids. How can I let Niall be exposed to that?”

“For one,” Harry growled. “Niall isn’t some impressionable kid. He’s an adult-”

“He’s our omega,” Liam interrupted.

“For two, has Louis done anything to purposely hurt Niall?”

Liam rolled his eyes. “You know that’s not what I’m worried about.”

“Then what are you worried about, pray tell? That Louis is going to somehow infect Niall with the desire to go out to a bar?” Their voices were beginning to rise.

For once, Liam wished Harry would slow down. “That’s not it.”

“Then what is it, Liam? What could possibly be the reason? Since you clearly don’t seem to care-”

“He’s dying, that’s why!” Liam roared, fists clenched.

It was quiet between the two alphas as Liam panted with the heavy statement. It was out of character for him to let his emotions spiral into a rage. He was the rock of the pack, of the band. The voice of reason, even in times of stress. He had a methodical approach to everything, it was how Harry knew he had some other reason besides Niall for doing what he did.

But Harry wasn’t expecting that. “What?”

A rush of air flew from Liam’s lungs, he took a step back. He had stepped forward when he said it, as if pulling the declaration from between his lips had yanked him forward roughly by his heart strings. “He’s dying,” Liam repeated in a whisper.

“What? Louis isn’t dying he would have told us.” Harry’s eyes flickered quickly over Liam’s mournful expression.

“I’m not sure if he knows. I just-Have you seen him? He’s pale, and skinny. He looks tired all the time. Everyday it seems to get worse. I was hoping that if I kicked him off the bus, he would rethink things and stop going to clubs. It’s killing him, Haz. This life is eating away at him.” Liam confessed.

“Do you really think it’s best to push him away like that?”

“I don’t know, but something has to change. I had to do something, and he’s a beta, so,” Liam stopped, unsure of his reasoning even though he had already gone through with it.

“So you’re giving him space.”

Liam nodded.

“That can’t be right.”

“Is there a right way?”

Scowling, Harry said, “Well, I can tell you right now, isolating Louis is not the right way to do this.”

“I thought maybe he’d snap out of it.”

“Yeah,” Harry snarled. “And I thought you were a good head alpha.”

Brown eyes scalded into green as the alphas faced off. “I do what’s best for everyone.”

“You’re stupid if you think this is what’s best.”

“He’s Louis, he’ll be fine.”

Harry shoved Liam’s chest, nearly out of breath from his own anger. “You said he was dying. You’re leaving him alone to die.”

Liam reciprocated the shove with even more force, making Harry take an involuntary step back. “I was the only one to notice, some alpha you are. Did you even realize anything was wrong before I told you?”

“What have I been saying this whole time? You kept trying to brush it off, you callous prick. Are you as deaf as you are stupid?”

It was unclear who threw the first punch, because the next second the two lads were in an all out brawl. Liam slammed his fist into Harry’s ribs only to receive a brutal hit to his nose. Disoriented, but still rabid with rage, Liam tackled Harry to the ground. The wrestling was full of cheap shots, and growls better suited for war than a violent scuffle. So involved in establishing dominance, neither alpha registered when Niall, who had been trying to pry them apart, got nailed with a wayward elbow.

________

At first, Louis had watched the fight with a sort of out of body nonchalance. It made no difference who won. They were alphas, these things were normal. He’d been attracted to the room upon hearing the quarrel. He’d opened the door right as Liam swung his arm. The sounds of flesh hitting flesh were muted, as if Louis was in a bubble. He stood relaxed and unconcerned. He was a beta. Alphas and omegas didn’t concern him, and never would. Betas don’t care. Louis was a beta. He was uninvolved and unlikely to experience spikes of emotion like burning alcohol or freezing metal. For once, he was truly beta. 

Until Niall walked into the room.

The blonde's face paled, and lips parted with horror. Raw vulnerability permeated the omega’s countenance.

A stirring whisked around inside Louis’ ribs.

Niall took a shaky step forward as his face rushed with color once more. A flush of urgency. Niall took another step, before running towards the alphas, who were now on the ground.

Tightness constricted and weaved itself into Louis’ bones. A cold ribbon of foreboding. Sounds came back into focus, moving closer to Louis’ ears from the distance it had been at since his appointment with Ryan.

Louis heard Niall’s desperate calls with growing clarity as the boy tried to pull the mindless alphas away from one another. “No, stop! Why are you-” Cut off by an elbow to the cheek, Niall fell to the ground.

Like Niall, the haze which surrounded Louis dropped with such velocity that a jarring protectiveness took over Louis’ once empty mind. ‘Protect.’ Fierce blood tidal waved through Louis’ veins as he was all at once at Niall’s side, pulling him away from the alphas. Louis moved them to a corner of the room, the safest place. No one could sneak up behind them. He pressed Niall into the corner, nearly crawling on top of him to check over his injury. It was already a dark red, but Niall’s eyes were clear even as he cried. Probably no concussion then. Gently tilting Niall’s face, Louis laved at the red mark, licking the wound to soothe it. His hands had busied themselves rubbing up and down Niall’s arms. A slow, firm caress, to lead the way in decreasing Niall’s heart rate. Niall’s hands clutched at Louis’ shirt, trembling. Sounds of the fight were clearly audible, so Louis started humming to lighten the ambience. He would have started purring to calm Niall if the suppressants he took didn’t prevent that. Eventually, Niall’s crying slowed. Louis didn’t stop licking the red mark until the tears ceased completely. 

Louis pulled back to make eye contact with Niall. Blue met blue in quiet understanding, Louis’ hands moved from rubbing Niall’s arms to running through the blonde’s hair, grooming him with a quiet sureness. Neither boy took notice of the lack of fighting. Once louis was certain the omega had calmed all the way, he slid his hands to rest on Niall’s shoulders. 

It was the sound of footsteps that brought back Louis’ protective instincts full force. Whipping around, but keeping his hands on his omega, Louis glared at the tanned alpha.

“Hey, Lou.” Zayn put his hands up, and took another step. 

Louis hissed and lunged towards him. Zayn quickly took a couple steps back.

“Okay, okay. That’s fine.”

Watching him closely, Louis moved back to Niall. Keeping his eyes on the suspicious alpha, Louis rubbed the scent gland of his wrist to Niall’s neck in a clear display of ownership. Nodding at Louis’ claim, Zayn carefully sat himself on the ground. Deeming the alpha negligible, Louis turned back to his omega. Running his hands through Niall’s hair again didn’t soothe Louis’ urge to protect enough. He began to lick Niall’s injury once more, his saliva easing the pain from the hit. Niall’s hands reclaimed their place clutching Louis’ white T-shirt. A few minutes went by, and the alpha sitting a few feet away didn’t make any threatening moves. Louis relaxed, and pulled away from Niall enough to look him in the eyes again.

“Louis,” Niall sighed.

“Niall.” Louis nuzzled their noses together.

A fresh sense of calm tended to their emotional wounds as they sat comfortably in the presence of eachother. The coming back to reality was a slow, but steady process. By the ten minute mark, Louis recognized the alpha encroaching on his territory as Zayn. He was incredibly rude to the Bradford musician, but felt absolutely no feelings of regret. ‘Shouldn’t have tried taking Niall away from me,’ Louis thought bitterly. ‘That’ll show you alphas to hurt my omega.’ By twenty minutes, Louis was in his right mind enough to let Zayn come within a couple feet of his omega. Just to look and see if Niall was okay. Louis didn’t let him touch Niall until half an hour had come and gone. Surprisingly, Zayn had waited patiently for Louis’ consent. He didn’t make any movements of coming closer until Louis gave an explicit go ahead. The alpha had watched the proceedings with interest. Even when Louis kept heavily scenting Niall with his neutral, beta scent, Zayn hadn’t made any sign of protest. He only smiled peacefully when Louis looked over his shoulder to see if Zayn had witnessed the claim. To see if he knew who the omega was under the protection of. 

Niall didn’t seem to mind the sudden switch in protectors. He let Louis guard him. He found no problem in allowing Louis to scent him time and time again. If Louis was any other beta, Niall probably would have had a fit, but Louis wasn’t just any beta. He was Niall’s beta. Niall would let Louis cuddle and sporadically scent him any day.

The three bandmates didn’t see Liam or Harry. Much to the content of Louis, who still considered them threats to his omega. Since Louis was clearly unwilling to let Niall leave the sanctuary of the corner, Zayn retrieved blankets and pillows to make a little nest. Everything had been cancelled for the day, due to the circumstances. So Zayn settled down at the edge of the impromptu nest, and watched Louis huddle Niall in blankets before laying down to sleep. 

It seemed that today was an off day for everyone.


	4. Within These Walls

In the end, the boys still had to do the photo shoot. Louis wasn’t keen on the idea of having Harry and Liam close to Niall. His protective instincts hadn’t faded, even through the night on the bus. Ironic, how it was now Liam and Harry who were kicked off. The instincts to groom Niall, and have him secure in the nest Zayn had made for them at the back of the bus were only cemented throughout the night. Louis had woken every couple hours and scented Niall. It was the best night of his life to date. The irish omega, of course, had no qualms with allowing Louis to settle him and adjust him however the ‘beta’ deemed fit. It made sense, if one knew what Louis really was. Back, not even a century ago, omegas’ rights were far and few in between. Alphas had complete control. To a point. The omegas had a trump card. Protective instincts and acknowledgment instincts. Louis, in this case, had the protective instincts. He kept Niall within a firm one meter radius, and shielded the omega from unidentified people or potential threats. Louis scented Niall with an almost manic intensity. He groomed and nested Niall, and he cuddled up with him the whole time he did so. Niall had the acknowledgement instincts. Omegas were under the thumb of alphas, until they had a fellow omega, like Louis, step in for them. Niall’s instincts recognized Louis as a fellow omega, their hormones sent signals back and forth from each other, which allowed Niall to put Louis in command over his own alphas. 

Even with the drama within the band, the photoshoot was still a go. Zayn was the first to enter the makeup room of the three. Liam and Harry were already getting made up to look glamorous, with mildly irritated makeup people. Both of the alphas had bruises and welts from their fight. After Zayn and security had separated the two, neither had swallowed their pride and apologized. Instead they avoided eye contact, and internally worried about how Niall was. Zayn hadn’t bothered saying anything to them outside of the fact that Niall was fine. Still, Harry and Liam shifted restlessly in their seats, glancing at the door to the makeup room. 

The door opened, and all three of the alphas jerked to look at who had entered. Louis was the first one to step in, holding the hand of Niall. The omega, for the most part, seemed in decent health. He was even smiling at Louis. It would seem as if nothing had happened. If it weren’t for the dark bruise clinging to his cheek bone, nobody would be able to tell what had transpired. Harry was just about to get up and cuddle Niall to death in apology. Promise to never to do it again, and imitate a clingy, alpha child. 

Zayn’s growl stopped him. “Do not.” At the enraged expression crossing Harry’s features, the alpha explained, “Unless you want Louis to rip your fucking throat out, I suggest you stay where you are.”

All the alphas looked over their shoulders to observe Louis and Niall with renewed interest. The beta was brushing some hair out of Niall’s face, before kissing his cheek where the bruise was. His blue eyes darted over to the alphas, and narrowed at Harry and Liam. Just like with Zayn (before Louis had recognized him as safe to be around Niall), he held eye contact while scenting Niall for the hundredth time that day.

It was Zayn’s voice, again, that stopped both Liam and Harry from reacting impulsively. “Remember what I said. Louis is in full on protective mode. Either one of you make a move towards Niall, he won’t hesitate to strike.”

“And you know this how?” Liam scoffed, rubbing his neck roughly as he turned to face forward again.

“Because he nearly got me when I approached him without thinking first.”

“What?” Harry asked. That didn’t sound at all like something Louis would do. He understood that it was an accident, right? 

Zayn didn’t bother replying.

In the end, Harry and Liam found out the hard way despite Zayn’s warning. While Niall was changing, Harry started edging towards him, as Louis was across the room discussing wardrobe. He’d only gotten within a couple of meters from Niall when Louis was suddenly right in Harry’s face hissing. Startled, Harry fell back onto the ground and watched as Louis gathered the omega and marched him to a corner where he stood guarding the boy as he changed. 

“Fuckin’ told you,” Zayn muttered, as he put on shoes nearby.

Harry got up, and brushed himself off. He tried to keep the fact that Louis, a beta that barely reached his chest, had essentially asserted his dominance over Harry, an alpha.

Liam didn’t learn from Harry’s mistake. Zayn watched from the side as Liam approached from behind Louis, who was fixing Niall’s already perfect clothes. Louis was on guard, though. He whipped around, and death glared Liam. The head alpha, thinking he had control of the situation (how wrong he was) took another step. Louis leapt forward, hand pulled back as if to strike as he snarled. Zayn almost laughed as Liam scrambled backwards, and retreated back to where he’d been staring longingly at Niall.

To prove a point, Zayn grabbed three chocolate muffins. Walking slowly towards the beta and omega, he made sure he was in Louis’ line of sight. 

“Louis.” The beta appraised him, but didn’t stop Zayn as he got closer to him and Niall. “A muffin for you and Niall.” He was close enough now that if he reached out he could touch Niall. He didn’t. Zayn offered the two muffins to Louis who took them gently, and smiled at Zayn serenely. As if he hadn’t been ready to rip Liam limb from limb just moments ago, Louis stepped back and allowed Zayn closer to Niall. The three ate their muffins in companionable silence. Liam and Harry watched on in awe.

_________________

Niall was having the best time of his life. Let it be known, that while generally a lover, he could be quite petty. Getting joy from Louis putting Liam and Harry in their place was petty, Niall knew. That didn’t make him enjoy it any less. Throughout the photoshoot, Louis was constantly scenting him. The beta ran his hands through Niall’s hair, and adjusted his clothes for him. The staff working wardrobe and makeup were having a fit. They didn’t try to put a stop to it, though. They had seen the way Louis was reacting to Liam and Harry. It was nice, Niall thought, because he knew that if Louis hadn’t stepped in Liam and Harry would have swayed him into early forgiveness. Niall wasn’t ready for that, yet. Maybe that was why he kept encouraging Louis. He whined pitifully whenever Louis moved too far away from him. He also had no qualms with calling Louis over when he saw either Harry or Liam trying to sneak up next to him. The omega knew that the alphas felt sorry. He just didn’t care. Louis was acting like a nesting omega, and Niall was his pup. Louis was even starting to smell like an omega from how close he kept to Niall. A faint sweetness emanating from the beta’s neck.

When Louis had to go for individual pictures, Zayn was tasked with watching over Niall. The two stood quietly next to each other, watching Louis pose for the camera. The alpha shifted from foot to foot a couple times before turning to Niall.

“Have you thought about it?” he asked.

“About what?”

“About Louis.” Zayn motioned to the boy, who seemed to be glowing compared to his earlier state of health not even two days ago.

“Yeah,” Niall breathed. “It’s great, I feel closer to him now more than ever.”

Zayn sighed, he didn’t want to have to explicitly say it, but he needed to know if it was just him who saw it. Liam and Harry were practically useless right now, considering the only thing going through their minds was how to get back into Louis’ good graces so they could talk to Niall. And that was what Zayn wondered about.

“How Louis has taken over as your protector, it’s almost like a…” He really didn’t want to have to say it.

Niall blinked at him, and Zayn held eye contact, hoping to press something, anything, out of him.

“Like an omega?” the Irishman guessed.

“Yeah.”

“Hmm.” Niall pursed his lips. “I guess so, yeah. But I mean, that can happen with betas, too, right? Besides, Lou and I are close, so it would make sense that I would trust him enough to take charge.”

Zayn deflated a bit at that. “That’s true.”

“And if Louis was an omega, we would definitely know.”

“How?”

Niall shrugged. “His body would start giving out on him. He’d be sick, and look at him.” Louis’ eyes were bright, and he seemed relaxed and at ease. “He looks fine.”

Zayn dropped the subject.

###############

Two days later Louis had been downgraded from protector status, and all was as it should be. Kind of. Not really. He’d gone from feeling better than he’d had in months, hell, in years, to being on the outside looking in. It was inevitable, Niall forgiving his alphas was a natural cycle. Louis had to step back. Betas would step back. He took a back seat, and it was like choosing to drown instead of swim. The problem was, a beta wouldn’t even be in the water. A beta would have helped Niall, and made sure he was okay. Would have gotten a first aid kit, asked if the omega felt any dizziness or nausea. A beta wouldn’t have lost all sense of sanity and nested Niall with all the vigour a suppressed omega could produce. 

In the end, Louis brought all this upon himself. He shouldn’t have let himself be consumed by instinct. Zayn had all the skills necessary to tend to Niall’s physical and emotional wounds. He knew that. He knew it after watching Zayn help Niall through a panic attack on a stuck elevator He knew it from handing Zayn bandaids as the alpha patched Niall up from a nasty fall. Obviously, Louis wasn’t just tending to Niall’s wounds. He was tending to his own. Letting the omega instincts take over soothed the infected welts he had collected from reconditioning. It was entirely selfish, and utterly unbecoming of him. Vivian hadn’t bothered with softening the blow of that truth for him. 

Louis had put his own hurt before the band’s image. If someone found out they’d be ruined. A disease ridden person did not sell well to the public. That was what the reconditioning was for. Just because it hurt like a numbing cold didn’t mean he was allowed to trade in the ache for ‘omega’. That was exactly what Louis was trying to get rid of; the omega. The lacerations and cuts he got from reconditioning were to let the omega in him bleed out. Beat out the infection in him that made him weak when he was supposed to be neutral. How could the band sell if there was a soon-to-be-pack, and some random, dirty omega following behind like a creep? It wouldn’t. It just wouldn’t. 

Thanks to the incident with Niall, Louis lost all the progress he had made with the reconditioning. Vivian knew this. It was why she made a decision. To have Louis go through reconditioning sessions every night. Eventually, the lesson would stick like it was supposed to, and they could wean off of the appointments. Until then, Louis was scheduled to meet with Ryan from one in the morning to three in the morning. It would be better. It would work this time, purge the blackness out of his system. Besides, Vivian said she was implementing some new techniques. It would work. It would just hurt a little, is all.

Vivian had even had a book written for him to read whenever he felt himself slipping. Total immersion wasn’t just useful for languages, it would seem.

###############

“Niall, finish your sandwich,” Liam said, pushing the paper plate with sandwich crust back towards the omega.

The pack was on the bus, and lunch time was coming to a close. Harry had one of his fruit smoothies, Zayn ate cold pizza, and Niall was being stubborn. Wasn’t his fault, or anything. Sandwich crusts were dry, and had the flaky grain stuck on it that would sometimes get in between his teeth. At that point in the sandwich, there was nothing on it to ease the bitter taste. Eating it would be torture.

The blond huffed. “You know I don’t like the crust.” He looked over to where Zayn had retreated to his bunk. “Besides, I wanna take a nap with Zayn.”

When Niall looked back at the alpha, all he received was a raised eyebrow and a warning gaze. Grumbling to himself, he picked up the flimsy crusts, and shoved them into his mouth. He hardly chewed three times before roughly swallowing and wincing as it went down. 

Liam handed him an already opened water bottle when he choked. “Goodness, Niall, I meant for you to eat it, not inhale.”

Gulping some water, Niall spluttered, “Hate the crusts.” He had to drain half the bottle before he felt like he could breathe properly again.

Niall looked over to Louis, who was reading a black book. One that he had recently been taking everywhere with him. Niall consistently caught him reading it in the middle of the night. Even right before they went on stage he had it cracked open just enough for him to read as he held it closely to his chest. It was the same now, as he sat on the couch. The book was nearly covering all of his face. 

After what had happened with the alphas, Niall had hoped that the gap between Louis and the band would disappear. That Louis would be more affectionate again. The beta used to initiate hugs and cuddles all the time when they were just starting out. Now it was like pulling teeth to get him to even want to sit with their legs touching. Maybe the affection he used to show was the remnants of childhood that had yet to be sanded away by responsibilities. Niall thought back to what Zayn had said. A nesting omega. But with how Louis was now, there was no way that could be possible. If anything Louis was even more independent and beta-like than before. Zayn had to be wrong. 

“Hey, Lou, did you eat anything?” Niall asked.

“Yeah.” He glanced up from the dark book with tired eyes. “Ate a quesadilla.”

“Oh, okay.” Louis returned to reading his book after sending Niall a small smile. 

That was good. If Louis was an omega, with the amount of physical contact he gets as he is now, he would be starving himself without realizing he was doing so. He wouldn’t be able to sleep. Well, Niall had caught him reading a few times at night. Surely he slept, though? Speaking of, Niall hadn’t seen Louis make or eat a quesadilla and he had been in view of the kitchen since this morning. The last thing Niall saw Louis eat was a chocolate muffin at the photo shoot. Before Niall had forgiven the alphas. Louis had retreated back into himself just like an omega. No, not just any omega. An abused omega. Not only that, but Louis was smaller than Niall. He had always been smaller than Niall, and Niall himself was on the smaller end of the spectrum when in came to omega size. It was all clicking in Niall’s head. A loud, clanking settling of clues that had been there all along. Niall went to the only person who would believe him; Zayn.

As he had expected, Zayn was lounging in his bunk, with an arm thrown over his eye. Liam was preoccupied on his phone, and Harry was in the shower. Niall didn’t have a lot of time. Throwing himself on top of the alpha, Niall swished the curtains closed, and shushed Zayn as he made a startled squeak.

“Niall, what are you-”

“You were right,” Niall confided shakily. “You were right. Louis is an omega.”

Zayn blinked up at him, eyes wide and eyebrows drawn in. “But you said-”

“I know, I know, but that’s only because he’s not showing signs of a healthy omega.” Niall was leaning in so close to Zayn’s face if someone saw it from a distance they would assume they were whispering lovely nothings to each other. Not boy band conspiracies.

“What- I just... “ Zayn shifted uncertainty under Niall’s weight. “You said it was nothing.”

Wincing, Niall tried to explain. “When I thought of him as an omega it didn’t fit,” he was speaking quietly enough that a stiff wind could drown him out. “That’s because I wasn’t thinking of it in the right way. He shows all the signs of an omega, Zayn. An abused one.”

The air around the two thickened and then grew heavy as the words echoed in short bursts of horror, shock, and urgency.

“What do we do?” Zayn was completely out of his depth. A crying omega was easy to handle, considering all the fans they had. An abused one took a whole other skill level.

“We confront him with a band meeting as soon as Harry gets out of the shower.”

“As soon as I what?” Harry drawled from where he was retrieving clothes from his bunk.

“Nothing,” Niall fake laughed as well as he could.

Zayn waited until he heard the bathroom door click shut. “Niall, are you sure? You have to be sure.”

Shaking his head, Niall admitted, “I’d rather live with being wrong than find out I was right and didn’t do anything.” His blue eyes filled with an intensity. An emotion too strong to categorize, it was everything. “We’re doing this now.”

They got out of the bunk, and stood in the narrow walkway between the beds. Harry reemerged from the bathroom, having just dressed. Before either of them could say a word, the bus shuttered heavily from the front as gravity twisted and yanked the boys into a rapid free fall into the walls of the bus as the vehicle rolled. Niall reached for Zayn as they were thrown into Louis’ bunk. He missed and accidentally grabbed Louis’ bag. Items shot around in disarray, the most important among them, was Louis’ bottle of suppressants. By the time the bus halted, and heaved itself on its side, the suppressants had made their way up to where Louis was bleeding on a cracked window with his right arm bent at an unnatural angle. There the white bottle lay, next to the pool of blood that flowed from a cut on his head. Seemingly innocent, as it watched him bleed out. 

###############

Harry could hear sirens. At first he had thought it was music, a soft, consistent melody. Now it was loud and shrill. Harry was face down on the ground. Well, it used to be the wall of the bus, but everything was broken and covered in random, personal belongings. It was easier to think of what he was pressed against as the ground rather than the wall of what was probably sad remains of the tour bus. At least he had gotten dressed first. It would have been awkward having paramedics find him in wreckage without any clothes on. 

The sirens grew louder still, until they were pulsing in Harry’s head like a bat hitting a ball over and over again. Then it stopped. Harry was quite sure he was in shock, because one moment the bus was still, and the next there were people in uniforms lifting him onto a gurney. He didn’t care that they cut apart his favorite shirt. It looked like it was stained, anyway. How did he not notice this when he was putting it on? It was red and wet. Maybe it happened when the bus crashed. He probably broke one of Zayn’s markers open on his shirt by accident. Zayn was going to be so annoyed. Where was the pen now?

Harry turned his head over to see a large puddle of ink on broken glass. He hadn’t realized he’d been laying on the bus window. Wait, he was on the other side of the gurney, that’s where the pen he broke would be. Harry was going to look, but there were paramedics crowding over where the red ink puddle seemed to originate from. That was Louis. Louis broke a pen, too. People lifted his gurney, and started carrying him off to where they sawed an entrance into the bus. Harry could see more, now that he was higher up. Louis also broke his arm. Maybe Zayn won’t be too annoyed with Louis, then. Since he broke his arm and all. 

The uniformed people were talking to him. Harry heard the noise, but none of it was focusing in. That was fine. They were probably telling him that there a lot of broken pens everywhere and that they were sorry about his shirt. Harry was sorry, too. He shouldn’t have broken Zayn’s pens. Harry closed his eyes.

The next time he came to, he was in a hospital bed with an IV hooked into his arm. A clock was on the wall across from him. Blinking, Harry tried to figure out what time it was. The long hand was on the four. The short hand was on the two. So, it was four ten. That didn’t seem right. Harry kept staring at the clock until his mind came around enough to realize that it was actually three o’clock. Not four. Huh. He stayed with his eyes on the clock, until the door to his left opened. His pack entered, they all had bandages, but seemed fairly well of if it weren’t for their red eyes. They’d been crying.

“What happened?”

“A semi truck ran a stop light and hit us.” Niall said, as he carefully climbed onto the side of Harry’s be that wasn’t occupied by an IV. He laid his head down on Harry’s chest. “The bus rolled. They told us were were lucky that we got off as okay as we did.”

“And are we,” Harry cleared his dry throat. “Are we okay?”

“Louis is in surgery,” Liam whispered. “You passed out and didn’t wake up. ‘S why you have a needle stuck in your arm.”

Harry looked back at the IV and the clear bag on a pole. “So I’m okay?”

“Just some bruising and a concussion.” Zayn was looking at the ground, messing with the bandage around his forearm.

“And Louis?” 

Liam looked away. Niall curled in closer to Harry. Zayn was staring at the floor. Nobody answered him. 

“What happened to Louis?” Harry demanded. He never like feeling left out, and he certainly didn’t enjoy the feeling now.

“He- He’s,” Liam clenched his hands into fists, and pressed his lips together tightly. His damp, brown eyes betrayed his struggles. Even so, Liam pushed on. “He’s an omega, Haz.” 

Harry listened to the way Liam’s voice cracked at the end of the sentence, as if the mental strain of saying those words was too much to bear. As if guilt was pressing in on his throat like a noose. As if it were true.

“No.” Harry breathed in a wavering gulp of air, and felt as though he would never be able to breathe properly again. “No, that’s-...”

Liam turned away from him, a sob trembling his shoulders. He took a seat on a plastic, grey chair. Zayn was still looking at the tiled floor, eyebrows furrowed as if avoiding eye contact would make it all a dream. The room became even paler than before as an innate sense of realization dawned on Harry. Louis was omega. 

“Why is he still in surgery?”

“Suppressions were in his system and reacted poorly with the anesthesia they gave him. They’re trying to keep him alive,” Zayn said, his voice far too loud in the small room. Far too empty for words that held so much weight.

“His body’s giving out on him,” Niall explained. “We’re just waiting, now.”

“Just waiting?” Harry whimpered. He could feel Niall’s tears soak through his hospital gown.

“Yeah.”

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think in the comments!!!


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